An orchestrated tableIt's Complicated

The holidays are filled with compromise and pleasing people. I remember when Ryan and Kelly were little trying to get from one set of parents home to the other all in the same day. The 45 minute drive along with packing up toddler paraphernalia was challenging, not to mention trying to spread our time evenly between the two families. Now days the issues I face are estranged families and picky eaters. Hereís what I know, if you have perfectionist tendencies like me you are going to get stressed. People wonít be able to come, or they will show up late and some will need to leave early. The food might be delightful or a mishap may occur. It could snow or you might get sick and all your well crafted plans will need to be tweaked.  If it were just me it would be so easy, but trying to accommodate a group of loved ones is complicated. Thatís just part of dealing with family and friends. 

Christmas and a bunch of cousins.Something I learned is that itís ok to mess up. In fact itís alright to wing it and sometimes you just need to go with the flow and coming from me that was a huge lesson to learn. You see I like to plan. I start early getting everything organized and then execute my holiday affair with the precision of a pro triathlete working their way through the transition zone. I write notes. I calculate a timeline and plot out my tasks. I have everything under control, except the guest. They come when they want. They bring what they want. They have issues with other guests and suddenly my agenda has gone awry. So if I do all this prep for naught, the question I asked myself was why? Why be so rigid in my entertaining agenda when there are so many moving pieces? Itís like trying to hold water in your hands, you cannot do it. When you deal with people being flexible and compromising is a must or you will go nuts.  That being said, this holiday season I realized that dealing with the people I love is complicated. Itís complicated and yet the solution is simple, let go and be flexible. Push all those expectations and agendas aside and remember whatís really important-the people you love.  Thatís it. 

ďHolidays in general breed unrealistic expectations. The minute you start wondering, ďis it going to be wonderful enough?Ē it never will be. Ė Pepper Schwartz