“I want some control” that’s what Terri said to me when she explained what it was like not being able to drive.

“You want your freedom” I replied and she agreed.

Right now Terri is taking anti seizure drugs, steroids and some other medications consequently she is not allowed to drive. I can only imagine how stifling it must be to have to ask people to drive you somewhere. Besides the humbling experience of depending on others, it must also be annoying to wait. When I want to go, I hop in my car and go. Terri no longer has that luxury. Funny thing is I never thought of it as a luxury.

Here’s something else I took for granted-taste. During the weeks of radiation Terri lost her ability to taste. The only food that registered was either very cold, like ice cream, or very spicy. We would go out to eat and she’d take a handful of sugar packets and dump them into her ice tea. When our food arrived Terri would grab the salt and liberally shake it on. She would ask for spicy mustard and apply whatever condiments were available on her food. Then Terri would take a bite, look at me and shake her head. She couldn’t taste it.

This morning I woke up and opened my eyes. I could see-in color. I stood up and my body supported itself as I walked into the kitchen. I opened the coffee canister and my nose sniffed its fragrant aroma. Later the warm coffee swirled in my mouth and my tongue distinguished the flavor. I heard birds singing outside my window and the joy of my day could have caused me to sing. But it did not. I didn’t appreciate the luxury of having all of my senses and bodily functions. I took it for granted and hadn’t noticed the magic of having it all. It was truly a morning of possibilities. Tomorrow when I awake I will, how about you?

“We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.”
-David Weatherford

The photos below are from the summer of 1992 when we visited Terri and Alan while they were living in Oklahoma. Not sure if you can tell, but Terri was pregnant at the time.

tok1.jpg (87172 bytes) tok2.jpg (143614 bytes) tok3.jpg (102656 bytes) tok4.jpg (129859 bytes) tok5.jpg (128290 bytes) tok6.jpg (108399 bytes) tok7.jpg (89195 bytes) tok8.jpg (122064 bytes) tok9.jpg (117195 bytes)