Motherís Day is this weekend and I felt I should write something encouraging for all you Moms. To tell the truth, I donít have much encouragement in me. Right now the word for mothering is exhaustion. It starts when you bring that lovely baby home, a life revolving around the baby and its 3 or 4 hour nonstop cycle. From there you move and move is the operative word here to the busy toddler days. Watch everything and chase after them. Survive that and its time to play the soccer mom and chauffer the kids to all their activities. Oh, and letís not forget those sleepless nights when you have a sick kid. Finally they can drive and thatís when the mental exhaustion sets in. Mothering is one vicious cycle of exhaustion.
While Iím venting about motherhood let me add this, when you become a mother you become secondary. Your own hopes, dreams and aspirations get set aside for this wonderful child you wished for. Many times you chose to do a chore or task that benefits the family and set aside your personal needs. I remember days when my Mom would let me take the car to school, leaving her stranded at home without a vehicle. I doubt I ever thanked her for it, I probably wondered why I couldnít drive every day (brat.)
There is something about mothering that I find funny, you become the expert. You have to have all the answers. Who decided that when a child has a boo boo, if you kiss it that will make it better? A mother, of course. My on the job training taught me that you fake it until you make it. You must manufacture the answers and solutions. So we grow up thinking our Moms are large and in charge, and we never realize that they are vulnerable. I donít think you realize this until you have grow up, that Moms allow themselves to be defenseless. They love and open themselves to being hurt. This is quite interesting because at the time you really do not realize that you are doing it, when you love as a mother, every self defense mechanism evaporates. Really, you are quite defenseless and on the other hand you are courageously brave, think mother bear. Ok, back to Moms having all the answers, I have to say that my Mom has all the answers, in fact here I am at the age of 47 and I still call her to get the answers, and whatís cool is that I now have a mother in law, so I have two Moms with all the answers!
So what can I say about mothering that is positive? My mom is awesome. She told me once with a knowing chuckle that the first Motherís Day after my sister Cindy and I had a child we both gave her these similar very thankful cards. I guess it was during those sleep deprived days as a new mother that we both realized what our Mom had went through.
Mothering is hard. Maybe thatís what I want to say to all of you Moms. Itís hard thankless work. But itís Moms who make the difference. Hereís a little entry from my journal:
I was doing laundry and Kelly was watching a show and it was a boy and his family who had lost their dog. I could hear her sniffle and I went and held her on my lap and she cried. She just canít stand lost dogs (and she herself gets very upset if we get lost) I comforted her and we talked about it.
The best part was that I was available to be there for both of them. Thank you Lord for letting me be here for my children.
Imagine a world without Moms. Oh, no I need my Mom!
Have you heard those stupid ďReal men of genius beer commercials?Ē Sometimes I donít know why my mind works in the manner it does, but ok these started as Real American Heroes. The real heroes are Moms. Moms, who set aside their own aspirations, Moms who worked and worried to exhaustion, Moms who love unconditionally. Moms that prayed. Moms who step outside of their comfort zones and go swim in the ocean with their daughter. Moms who give all and thatís the key, Moms give all, and to that I say thank you. Thank you for all you do.
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." - Elizabeth Stone