Early this spring I planted several varieties of
seeds indoors. I wanted to jump start my spring by growing flowers that
were not sold as plants in the nurseries. My kitchen window was filled
with trays containing sunflowers, nasturtium, zinnia, morning glories, and
moonflowers. I watered and watched the little seedlings grow until it was
warm enough for them to be moved outside. I transplanted my babies and
planted more seeds. Kelly and I had been shopping when she spied a package
of big purple zinnias. She asked me to plant them and these little gems
had grown about two inches tall. Thereís something exciting about
watching tiny seeds sprout and grow. I could just envision the beautiful
Now I have to tell you about a service our company provides. We have a bed maintenance program which is designed to keep beds of the landscape weed free. This is done by applying pre-emergents and by spraying weeds that have germinated. Of course we have all the Dowco services at our home and one afternoon I came home to find that Henry had just completed a bed maintenance application. My spirits sank because I realized that I had not made notes on my work order to safeguard my tiny seedlings. To Henry all these little plants looked like weeds and yes, he nuked them. It was completely my fault because our clients do not plant seeds; they hire us to take care of all of their maintenance. Believe me; Henry is very thorough and great at what he does. I knew it was only a matter of time and all my future stars would be gone.
When I realized what happened I sat down and felt like the wind had been taken out of my sails. What a disappointment. I didnít spend a ton of money, perhaps twenty dollars on seeds, but I had invested time and more importantly hope in these little plants. I had envisioned these big glorious flowers and no doubt about it this was not going to happen.
So I had this little disappointment with the flowers, and I got over it, but what about the big disappointments? The important ones involve people. People you love, people you have opened yourself up to and are vulnerable with. People you envision a big beautiful flower of a relationship with and they let you down, or worst break your heart. When that happens it sucks the wind out of your sails, takes your breath away and squashes your momentum. How do you deal with that? I donít have a simple answer for that because you definitely have to protect yourself from being repeatedly hurt or disappointed, but on the other hand I think regardless of the steps you take to fortify yourself, regardless of what constraints you place on the relationship, I think you need to continue to love. Yeah, I know youíre thinking Iíve lost my mind by saying I would continue to love someone who hurt me, but yes, if they meant that much to me in the first place, then I would continue to love. Now that doesnít mean I would allow repeat offenses, I would love them and pray for them, and protect myself from future hurts.
"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us." ~Stephen R. Covey~