Tipping On The Bike
There’s this saying among cyclist that it’s not a matter of if you’re going to crash it’s a matter of when. Probably every cyclist I know has crashed or at the least “tipped.” If you haven’t heard the term tipping let me explain. The bikes we ride do not have pedals like the bikes of our youth. Instead we have cycling shoes with a clip on the bottom that fastens to the pedal. Your shoe is fixed on the pedal and the only way to disconnect is to “unclip” which requires twisting and pulling your shoe out of the pedal clip. Being clipped in allows you to use the upward stroke and this greatly improves your cycling. But this can also keep you trapped to your bike unable to unclip fast enough and hence you “tip.” It’s a scary feeling falling, frantically trying to clip out before you scrape yourself up. Well as I was saying getting hurt is bound to happen in cycling and take a leap with me here getting hurt is bound to happen in relationships.
In relationships, like cycling it’s not a question of if you’re going to have your feelings hurt it’s a matter of when. No matter how careful you are, no matter how much you love or care for someone, it’s going to happen eventually. You know that saying people toss around, get comfortable being uncomfortable? I think we should get comfortable having our feelings hurt. Alright, maybe that’s a bit extreme, but how about this, how about we acknowledge that this is going to happen? What if the next time someone hurt our feelings we weren’t surprised and instead we adopted a sort of take one for the team attitude. What if we said to ourselves: “Yep, that really hurt and it’s ok, I’m going to work through it positively because this person matters to me?” In cycling when we fall we “suck it up” and keep riding, but in relationships sometimes we get so caught in our own pain that we can’t get back on with the relationship. What is it about emotional hurts that makes it so hard to dust ourselves off and stand back up? For me it’s because I am focusing on myself. When I consider how much I love the other person it makes my hurt feelings a small price to pay.
“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” – Kahil Gibran